1. |
ready, fire, aim
03:50
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Nineteen ninety eight and passed out again
And I’m foetal on the floorboards
With a faded Jeff Wayne record for a bed
But I’m too scared to go home instead
To the me I never fell for
I stay deaf so I can’t find the trigger
Let’s pretend I like where we are
No breath but the flames are quicker
Counting the days until I break back down
I disappear cause I am no one now
Take my, take my reflection
Bury yourself with self-deception
Life is warmer on the back seat here
With my headphones searing out
My Therapy? cassette keeps spinning round
And I sleep well at this time of year
With my faded dreams and self-doubt
It’s a new me but the smoke clears quick
Let’s pretend we think I’ll make it
I tune up but the smile won’t stick
Counting the days until I break back down
I disappear cause I am no one now
Take my, take my reflection
Fill your lungs with self-deception
Burn my, burn my reflection
Bury yourself and learn your lesson
Beating my heart until I hit the ground
This music’s nothing that you’d like
The melody stopped turning round at night
And I’m counting the days until I break back down
I disappear cause I am no one now
Take my, take my reflection
Fill your lungs with self-deception
Burn my, burn my reflection
Bury yourself and learn your lesson
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2. |
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Face down first for the concrete sequel
The misery is back for revenge without an equal
A thousand hurts, a transmitter
The antagonist is back and this time it’s bitter
So I fade out first and tell you where I got my tales from
The panic attacking just sent me back into the maelstrom
I pose no threat to you
With eyes closed, head first, I can’t lose
Break the fall, don’t let me bleed
Cut the rope, you’re killing me
The pain lasts but the drop comes first
I forgot how much this hurt
Smash the glass, don’t let me see
The animal staring back at me
I dig deep but I still find dirt
I forgot how much this hurt
Where were you last year?
I was high revs in a low gear
And I told myself they’re not tears
I’m just drowning in crippling fear
So my OCD won’t let me be
Or let me see through anxiety
They try to bury me so I dress for my turn
Maybe I’ll never learn
Break the fall, don’t let me bleed
Cut the rope, you’re killing me
The pain lasts but the drop comes first
I forgot how much this hurt
Smash the glass, don’t let me see
The animal staring back at me
I dig deep but I still find dirt
I forgot how much this
Break the fall, don’t let me bleed
Cut the rope, you’re killing me
The pain lasts but the drop comes first
I forgot how much this hurt
Smash the glass, don’t let me see
The animal staring back at me
I dig deep but I still find dirt
I forgot how much this hurt
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3. |
dead men take no pills
03:28
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I’m so tired, my heart stalls
Staring at the paint crack on these four walls
The stereo interrupts with a melody that breaks my fall
Take one and it’ll help you breathe
Take two and it’ll break all the smiles we see
Let’s see what’s underneath
With eyes open cause my heart won’t stop
The bed covers up what the world blew up
I think it’s time that I sang along
Sing a little so I don’t crack up
Take one and it’ll help me see
Take two just in case you notice me
And see what’s underneath
Sing with me and we’ll tear the house down
Everything’s cool just enjoy the breakdown
I’m so torn cause I can’t stitch up
The scars worn and the self-made cuts
You’re never fixed with a daily transmission
Never cured you’re only just a manic in remission
Well, here’s two more and it won’t come cheap
Here’s a little song to make you feel less incomplete
Just sing along with me
Sing with me and we’ll tear the house down
Everything’s cool just enjoy the breakdown
I’m so tired, I can’t stop,
The drugs cover up what the world blew up
The stereo interrupts
Sing with me and we’ll tear the house down
Everything’s cool just enjoy the breakdown
Sing once and we’ll tear the house down
Everything’s cool just enjoy the breakdown
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4. |
i was never really here
04:40
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Maybe one day I will get this right
I give you all my broken dreams
And tell you why I never sleep at night
I couldn’t fix myself
But you would always help
Someday maybe I will learn to breathe
I’m bitter, jaded, selfish, faded
An outline of what I would like to see
I’m just a puppeteer, I smile on cue, I hear the truth
But I don’t believe
Gimme stillness and serenity
Gimme depth with full imagery
Tracing the lines that I can’t see
Why do you waste your time with me?
I’ve always been sincere
But I’ve never been here
I hear only you, but I don’t see me
Two a.m. and falling through the floor
I tune out a hundred miles away
What’s another couple hundred thousand more?
Too lost and a little far gone
A brittle self-worth from the life I’ve drawn
I’m home, I just have to hold on
Gimme peace and some tranquility
and meaningful imagery
Tracing the lines that I can’t see
Why do you waste your time with me?
I’ve always been sincere
But I’ve never been here
I hear only you, but I don’t see me
I don’t understand what you can see
Wasting your time when I can’t breathe
Searching my life’s debris
I’ve never been so lonely
Where in hell is me?
Shred the instinct, start the restring
You don’t owe me anything
I’ll fix myself, my twisted health
I’m so low and I know it well
Tracing the lines that I can’t see
Why do you waste your time with me?
I’ve always been sincere
But I’ve never been here
I hear only you, but I don’t see me
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5. |
cheers and self-loathing
03:56
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Four a.m. and I’m stuck with a memory traced
Twenty pings a minute but seclusion is starting to take
Inhale, repeat, let’s choke on the mess
Calling all scars, starting all fires, talking until there’s nothing left
Six a.m. the best part of me is fleeing the scene
Empty, guts ripped from a living machine
Exhale, repeat, so I don’t have to think
Gimme eighteen more years and I swear I won’t hear a thing
Say yes to where the pain is
Share a crooked first dance for the ages
Vow this is not a failure
Toast the massacre
Free me, spilling blood so I’m upright
See me, blue eyes on the inside
And it’s making me sick
Dragging cold feet to the dirt in the daylight
One black spot’s not what you readily fix
Misery pairs well with a seventy-six.
Drink up, repeat, let’s start at the end
I can move past all of this, but not to your extent
One more dream that I can’t imitate
One buried scream before I detonate
Glass down, repeat, let’s end at the start
We can’t move past all of this and I guess I sang my part
Say yes and put me where you want to
Lock the door cause I don’t know how to let go
Vow this is what you wanted
When we’re distorted
Free me, spilling blood so I’m upright
See me, blue eyes on the inside
And it’s making me sick
Dragging cold feet to the dirt in the daylight
Save me, champagne for the farewell
Play me, a dark march till I get well
But it’s making me sick
Dragging my feet to the sun when I’m in hell
Free me, spilling blood so I’m upright
See me, blue eyes on the inside
And it’s making me sick
Dragging cold feet to the dirt in the daylight
Save me, champagne for the farewell
Play me, a dark march till I get well
But it’s making me sick
Dragging my feet to the sun when I’m in
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6. |
||||
We talk through it all and I don’t recognise myself
Tell me I’m half dead and the other part’s fake
A chalk outline with a fatal heartache
We stalk through the sprawling questions
A grief addict with fevered obsessions
Twenty-five years I was dead at the door
One lost hour, all I’m asking is a cure
Take my life, gimme answers
Gimme dark without the whispers
Take me home, take me home
We talk it through, I tell you how I’ve been
My true self but without the skin
A suicide pact less the mortal sin
Just tell me I’m cracked and gimme the dopamine
I hit pause for the laughter, declare I’m a disaster
Connect the dots to create the lines
In time I’ll find a movement that’s all mine
Take my life, gimme answers
Gimme dark without the whispers
Take me home, take me home
Take my pride, I abused it
Cut the cords but leave the music
Take me home, take me home
Take my life, gimme answers
Gimme dark without the whispers
Take me home, take me home
Take my pride, I abused it
Cut the cords but leave the music
Take me home, take me home
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7. |
dahlia
02:58
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You don’t hear cause I mumble in code
And the blood has covered all the access roads
But at least I wanna make the beasts comply
They don’t listen but I mostly try
I miss the story that we could’ve known
Now the killer has a knife to the slim way home
And I die inside with a cheap surprise
A getaway scar and a thin disguise
I’ll never see
Dahlia please talk to me
Tell me where do you carry
The bodies you bury and
Drown out the screams?
You draw blood more than I draw breath
And I score one more for the poor repressed
Check the soundwaves, maybe there are monsters there
We called you friend, you didn’t care
A non-life calling for a little more sense
You were shot through half, and I’m missing the rest
So call the suspect, burn the lies
Where were you on the night that our best friend died?
I’ll never see
Dahlia please talk to me
Tell me where do you carry
The bodies you bury and
Drown out the screams?
You cut away,
All the people that would stay.
Hoping maybe I got it wrong
As you plotted, and
You’ll be OK.
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8. |
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Shaking off the dirt and all the rot I missed
I’m gonna dig me out
Better fix me first, the manic egoist
Before we tear this down
Because I hit the body but the head won’t die yet
This only ends one way
A white shot to the gut and a bullet for the mindset
I drop my shame
As I kill myself
But it’s so damn hard to tell
Screaming whoa
Riding a one way bullet to hell
Enough of all my defects, let’s talk about you
And my pedigree
Gimme the themes, and the narrative too
Until they’re just remedies
With a heart outpoured cause I played my mistakes
I’m beyond regret
I’m smart I’m sure, but I score my heartbreaks
And I’m not dead yet
So I kill myself
But it’s so damn hard to tell
Screaming whoa
Riding a one way bullet to hell
And I swear I tried
But I’m hard to recognise
Screaming out whoa
Cause I’m so damn tired inside
Just one more coffee and pill
Just one more question to go
I need to know who I killed
This cannot be all there is
There must be details I missed
Just bag the body and tell me that I don’t exist
I’ll find myself in the dose
Capitulate I suppose
I had no choice but to drown out the echoes and ghosts
So I kill myself
But it’s so damn hard to tell
Screaming whoa
Riding a one way bullet to hell
And I swear I tried
But I’m hard to recognise
Screaming out whoa
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9. |
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I want the safety, not the misconception
A hazy light to confront the darkness
Raise me from the disaffection
I can’t see how we get through this
There’s no real objective truth
The answer is five from two plus two
We can’t undo what the statues prove
Nostalgia isn’t progress, it's a terminal view
I want my mind back, I want it all back
Every song, every sound you’ve ever stolen from us
Turn it up, play it loud
Whatever happened to us?
Every word, every truth the message ever teaches
Turn it up, play it through
Whatever happened to us?
Begin the incline, at their insistence
There’s no I at the end of the world
Eternal front line, without a strong resistance
Now wait for the riot to hurt
The enemy counts and they never don’t miss
Does the offbeat look futile in this?
Cause nobody knows and nobody learns
That you don’t think, and don’t exist
I want it back
Every song, every sound you’ve ever stolen from us
Turn it up, play it loud
Whatever happened to us?
Every word, every truth the message ever teaches
Turn it up, play it through
Whatever happened to us?
Whatever happened to us?
Whatever happened to
There was never a war
That was not the result
It was not what I stood for
And it’s always your fault
Killing Spree never happened
That was never our track
These were never my thoughts
I want the real me back
Every song, every sound you’ve ever stolen from us
Turn it up, play it loud
Whatever happened to us?
Every word, every truth the message ever teaches
Turn it up, play it through
Whatever happened to
Captain Ben says all aboard
Every song, every sound you’ve ever stolen from us
You won’t need settings restored
Turn it up, play it loud. Whatever happened to us?
Captain Ben says all aboard
Every song, every sound you’ve ever stolen from us
You won’t need settings restored
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10. |
154bpm
05:23
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Two thousand twenty two and passed out again
And you’re drifting with the stars now
With a faded broken father for a bed
I chewed the bowels of a passive youth
Now I’d pull this wreckage from its starless hell for you
We all crack, there’s beauty in that
And your reflection is perfect for you
And if white noise fills your head
Don’t wake up, and I’ll help you reset
Tear out the notes as you read along
A melody with your own smile on
I beg the stars and I pray to dawn that you won’t think like me
Twenty five years of falling apart
But I died the day that I heard your heart
Once upon a time, I don’t know how this ends
I hate not knowing but I’m hooked on suspense
As I stare into the eyes of an endless youth
I will turn self-pity into harmonies for you.
I’m cracked, there’s beauty in that
But I’ll choke my echo to make something new
And if the whispers say you’re not enough
Take my hand, cause I still have the cuts
Tear out the notes as you read along
A melody with your own smile on
I beg the stars and I pray to dawn that you won’t think like me
Let’s drown the song that I dream for you
And write another with your own world view
I flood my lungs and I scream for you that you won’t sing like me
You keep the beat with every minute
This could be the start of a beautiful friendship
Two glass waves, a crystal blue image
I hear your world flood and my place in it
Tear out the notes as you read along
A melody with your own smile on
I beg the stars and I pray to dawn that you won’t think like me
Let’s drown the song that I dream for you
And write another with your own world view
I flood my lungs and I scream for you that you won’t sing like me
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Call Me Malcolm England, UK
Razor-toothed, harmony infused, delicately ferocious ska. British 5-piece Call Me Malcolm exploded onto the Ska Punk scene in 2018 with a record described by ska legends Less Than Jake as "a saving grace of the genre." Malcolm's genre blending mastery and intricate songwriting has since crafted “some of the most special, unique, ambitious music in the punk underground.” (BrooklynVegan) ... more
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